05-09-2012, 07:45 PM | #1 | |||||||||||
ultimate dumbass
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The Angel's Waltz
This is not exactly in relation to any -nime or game, but I thought I'd share it here to get critique!
My first actual poem. <3 Angels Waltz. Once upon a midwinter morning When the flowers ceased to bloom The Angels dance and sing Without a hint of gloom Their smiling faces moving rhythmically Waltzing hand in hand Not a single mistake was made The scene was nothing but grand It was when the snow stopped falling When the fun came to an end But what the Angels didn't know Is that the story has yet to begin They looked around, confused For it was not the end of the season The elders cautioned the Angels And for a very good reason There were beings called the Dangalo Evil, strong, and cunning The stopping of the snow and fun Was a sign that they were coming They had to prepare for battle And push away their fear. "The Dangalo are too strong for us." "And they are drawing near." The warriors dressed their wings in golden plates Their hair tied back in a bun They marched to the sight of their attack Making a wall one by one The Dangalo cross over the hill Swords and shields in hands They scoff and laugh at the Angels The laughing stock of their land The Dangalos are much taller And more muscular and braun But the Angels stand hand In hand Ready for the battle to be won The first arrow was shot And so the battle begins The Angels charge with grace And pray for their victorious end Many Angels wounded Many Angels fall Yet they never give up Not to the Dangalos, no, not at all One by one the strong Dangalos fall to defeat While the Angels scream in war The bravery if all these Angels Is something to adore And when the last Dangalo fell And the battle was finally done They scream and shout in victory For it had finally been won.
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05-10-2012, 04:55 AM | #2 | |||||||||||
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That's pretty awesome.
-sigh- I wish my poetic skills were good. I wrote a poem a long time ago but it just seemed like it was very low leveled.
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06-17-2012, 08:18 PM | #3 | |||||||||||
Lick chicks not dicks.
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Bro you are a fabulous human being.
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06-19-2012, 10:35 PM | #4 | |||||||||||
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*Mega gasps*
How did I miss this thread? I thought for certain that I posted a comment here. *Slams book on head* *Ahem* I can truly say that this was a wonderful masterpiece. Not only is the layout neat and organized, but you also managed to find the proper terms to use in the rhyming process. A job well done Star. *Tweeted and Liked* I am quite eager to share a poem of my own that I made in my second year of High School. However, I first need to find out where I last left it, as I don't remember it by heart. ^^;
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Ambient-Symphony: Restrict 404 Last edited by Ambient-Symphony; 06-19-2012 at 10:38 PM. |
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06-23-2012, 03:02 PM | #5 | |||||||||||
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Those are good points.
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06-29-2012, 09:05 PM | #6 | |||||||||||
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Star is a great writer.
You can learn a few things from her if you ever need help with yours.
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07-06-2012, 06:54 AM | #8 | |||||||||||
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Ah, but in my eyes you are.
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07-06-2012, 10:51 PM | #9 | ||||||||||||
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Quote:
It would make the whole world laugh.
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07-07-2012, 04:08 PM | #10 | |||||||||||
ultimate dumbass
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Really, thank you.
But my problem about writing, is that I just get sooo lazy when it comes to things that are assigned to me to write at school. I nearly failed English because of that said laziness. I honestly doubt that.
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